I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
