And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
