I seem to have left my pride at pride
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
