I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
