We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
