just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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