could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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