Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
