STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
