i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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