One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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