Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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