she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
