well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
