What did we do last night that was yellow?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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