thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
