why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
