the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
