similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
