My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
