yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize