I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
