I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i used baking grease as lip gloss
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize