You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
