New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
