I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize