Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
