I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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