If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
