Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
