Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
