I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
