Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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