I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
