Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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