There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
