Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Randomize
