Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
