if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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