someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
