There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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