Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
