you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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