I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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