Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
