it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
