We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
this beer tastes like vomit already
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize