This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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