That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
