i don't like sucking hair
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize