that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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