dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
