Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
