dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
