hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
