I seem to have left my pride at pride
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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