okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
