no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
