All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
