ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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