do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
