I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Randomize
