and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Someone came in the potted fern
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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