He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
