Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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